A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera - Say Something

If these walls could speak...

GPTD : Ahmad Ammar

I saw this video  as I was browsing the you tube. I could feel the nobility of this young man although he is none to my knowledge before. I was thinking, how many of our youngsters are like him? Indeed he is rare and like a gem to our society. His demise is indeed a great loss to our country.

(Sedang anak-anak kita sibuk mengejar duniawi...berFB, merempit, berpeleseran di shopping-shopping complex, bertexting bertali arus setiap hari, anak ini mengorbankan masa, jiwa dan raganya untuk agama. Rasa sangat terkesan menonton video clip ini.  Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya. Ameen...)

Komunikasi yang dimudaratkan

Dalam dunia yang serba modern ini jarang sekali kita berjumpa dengan 'manusia' yang tidak memiliki 'handphone'.  Sekurang-kurangnya jenis yang ini..

Itupun, tok-tok, tokwan-tokwan, pakcik-makcik yang berpendapatan rendah yang biasanya menggunakan phone jenis ini..Pakcik makcik di pekan tak guna phone ni...Depa guna Samsung Galaxy, Blackberry, X peria, HTC...pendekata semua phone yang canggih-canggihlah!.

Begitu juga anak-anak muda kita... mereka bukan sahaja memilik phone yang canggih-canggih ni...mereka juga mahir mengendalikan

dan ini...

Hampir separuh hari, kalau tidak berjam-jam dihabiskan untuk 'mengadap' gadgets ini...Bangun tidur, benda ini yang dicapai dulu...sekurang-kurangnya nak tengok jam...Jam di dinding dah tak berapa fungsi lagi..kemudian, nak tengok messages yang masuk or 'missed calls'...takut ada yang ter miss atau yang teringgal...

Kemudian lagi, nak tengok FB notifications... atau FB messages...Twitter, Whataapp, Line dan macam-macam lagiTakut ketinggalan...Kalau-kalau ada kawan-kawan yang sakit, meninggal dunia...anak-anak kawan yang kahwin atau kawan-kawan yang baru kahwin atau kahwin lagi...sekurang-kurangnya kita tahu, kita up to date dengan berita-berita ini.. Kita tidak akan jadi seperti

Begitula kuatnya impak alat-alat komunikasi ini...Kita akan terus berhubung dan connect dengan rakan-rakan kita dan hubungan luar setiap masa. Tak dapat bukak Computer, bukak Laptop Tak dapat bukak Tab, bukak Smartphone. Segalanya berada di hujung jari.

TAPI!

Berapa ramai dari kita yang menggunakan peralatan-peralatan  ini untuk mengeratkan tali sirraturrahim sesama ahli keluarga kita? Berapa banyak messages yang kita telah hantar, kita tujukan kepada suami, isteri dan anak-anak kita? Berapa kali kita gunakan smart phone kita itu untuk menghubungi ahli keluarga kita bila kita berjauhan? Kenapa berat sangat jari kita untuk menekan butang telefon untuk menghubungi mak atau bapak kita? Kita lebih teruja untuk 'mencari' kawan-kawan kita dari bertanya khabar anak-anak kita yang ditinggalkan di rumah...dan kita tidak sedar perbuatan kita itu sebenarnya boleh mengundang MASALAH akhirnya.... Hmmm

Kesian anak-anak kita..suami kita, isteri kita...mak bapak kita...memanglah kita semua sudah besar panjang..tahu jaga diri masing-masing tapi itulah KASIH SAYANG namanya...ahli keluarga kita akan merasa kehilangan kita bila kita tiada kalau mereka  sering dihubungi. Pahala pun dapat kerana kita menjalankan tanggungjawab kita dari jauh walaupun melalui 'angin'.

Suatu masa dulu,

menjadi penghubung...kemudian  e-mail...bila dunia jadi semakin canggih, kita pun sudah jadi semakin advance, sepatutnya lah perhubungan sesama keluarga kita jadi semakin akrab. SEBAB...kita ada alat-alat komunikasi yang boleh kita gunakan untuk menghubungi mereka dengan cara yang MAHA PANTAS!

MALANGnya...kita jadi semakin "mundur" oleh alat-alat ini..Hubungan jadi semakin RENGGANG. Salah ALATkah? Salah  MASA? atau salah KEADAAN? Selalunya kita tidak akan salahkan DIRI SENDIRI...Kita akan bagi SERIBU macam alasan termasuklah faktor keadaan dan masa. Tapi kita lupa, masa dan keadaan ini akan terus berjalan dan kita akan jadi semakin TUA...Waktu yang lepas itu takkan kembali...tapi TUHAN masih beri kita waktu untuk memulihkannya. Cuma kita MESTI sedar akan kesilapan kita dan cubalah untuk MEMBAIKInya. Selagi kita masih bernyawa, tidak ada yang terlambat kerana saya selalu berfikir yang TUHAN MAHA ADIL dan TUHAN lah YANG PALING CANGGIH ! DIA akan terus dapat kita hubungi tanpa perlu talian maxis, telekom, celcom, unifone, broadband, streamyx DLL.

Sekian. Terima kasih.

Smart Parenting

Recently, I came across this article in the NST online. It was written by Mr Zaid Mohamad, the founder of smartparents .com.my. 

Do take a look at it , and read it until the end...Tell me how do you feel after reading the whole article. HAPPY, SAD...?

When we think we have time

Recently I took my youngest son, Adam, for a haircut. He is eight years old and dislikes going to a barber as he prefers Mummy to do it.  I persuaded him to join me for the trip by saying that he is now a big boy and besides, a professional haircut would make him more handsome.

He reluctantly agreed but went through the process without any problem. After the cut, I was impressed at how neat and nice he looked. So I gave him a spontaneous compliment, "Wow Adam. You look so cute!" His response was not what I expected. He was not very happy with the comment. I then probed, "Why, you are not cute anymore?" His candid reply: "I know I am still cute, but please don't call me that anymore!"

That comment left me smiling. But it also reminded me of how fast he had grown up. Being the youngest, he had always been "a baby" in our family. Apparently he began to feel uncomfortable with the status and tried to move on to another phase of life.

Adam is not alone. It is quite common for kid this age to start being independent.  They may also begin to feel uncomfortable when treated like a little person. Parents may find them reluctant to be hugged and kissed especially in public. However, this does not mean that they are loving us less.  It just means that they want to be treated like a bigger boy or girl.

This forms a great reminder to all of us parents. First of all, it is not unusual to wish that our kids will never grow bigger.  Many parents want their little angel to stay nice and cute forever. This is because their little ones provide an endless source of entetainment, funny and memorable moments during their growing up years.  They will never resist us when we want to give that quick hug or a peck on the cheek.  

Because of this, parents may sometime feel that they have all the time in the world.  They sometimes postpone spending time with the kids because they will do it some other time. Many spend a disproportionate amount of time at work thinking that there will be a break coming soon.

The days turn into weeks and months but the break never comes. On the contrary, we are getting busier than ever as our careers or businesses flourishes and grows.  In the meantime, our kids at home are also growing at a faster rate.  They no longer like to be hugged, cuddled or called cute.  

When that happens, the parents would have lost a significant amount of parenting joy.  There's no amount of money that can pay back the lost time.  

Looking back, there really isn,t that much time.  Try to look back at your kids' photo album and you will know what I mean.  Once our young ones go to school, we will be missing the days when they fell asleep on our chest.  We will wish that we have just one more night to bathe them, put them clothes and read them a bedtime story.  Now that they are busy with their school work and activities, we will be wishing for some quiet time just to have a decent meal together.

Talk to any parents with grown up kids, they will tell you a thousand more memorable stories.  Chances are, they would no longer complain about the hardship; in fact, many would not want to do it any other way.  

These hindsights form the valuable learning we can fast forward to our situation today.  Stop complaining about our kids' antics because it will be for only a short time.  Never miss another dinner together because many necessary distractions will be coming soon. Stop pondering about whether to take that holiday; just pack and go instead.

The time is shorter than we think. We only have about five years to hold and cuddle them before they politely push us away.  The next seven years will be spent in primary schools.  The teenage years will be even worse. Many teenagers would prefer to spend time on their own or with friends instead.  

As it is, time do fly indeed. One of the best measure of how much our kids have grown is to see how easy it is now to hug and kiss them, as their heights are catching up fast!

Let's not waste any more days not doing things together. Stop holding life and love because things will never be the same once today is gone. Take that break and go on that vacation. Read that book and play that game with them. Laugh at their jokes and feel the stresses melting while the bond renewing.

Don't worry about putting work on hold because time with the family is much more limited.  It will be a time well spent because we don't really have much of them.

"Duit, kalau hilang, boleh dicari, diganti bila-bila waktu. Kita cuma perlu lebih usaha. Kasih sayang kalau hilang, kalaupun datang semula, tidak akan sama dengan yang asal..."

Happy Father's Day!

I never thought that I could get a step mom at the age of 47. And my dad is now 78 years old . He's old and weak alright but not lifeless. Even when he was living alone last time, he would still do house work like sweeping the floor while sitting on his wheel chair. I don't know where he got the energy to do that..probably through his never missed solah and dua..

So, last Sunday I did some 'speaking' activities about fathers with my students. Yes,  the class suddenly became so excited and lively.

"Have you called your father today?" Some said yes, some said no..
"Ok, if you haven't called your father, you can call them now..5 minutes!" Some students took out their phone. Of all the phone calls made in class this particular call made by a student to his father is the most interesting.

"Assalamualaikum Dad!" he said as he giggled.
"Happy Father's Day...I'm in class right now. My teacher asked me to speak English with you." the whole class laughed at him by now but this boy was very sporting. He kept on giggling. Earlier, he told the class that both his father and mother work in the police force.

Then, after the phone calls I told my students to share with the class any good moments that they had with their father.  I had them talking, chatting and laughing about 20 minutes or so about this topic.

" Madam, I don't have a father"
"Passed away?"
"Nope!. Ran away." (Pulak dah...)
"My father married second wife. I cannot remember anything about him."
"Since when?"
"When I was 6.."
Therefore, I told him to speak about any father figure that she knows.
"Yes, my uncle." Problem solved.

"I remember my father a lot because he always scolded me." (Arghh...I immediately felt guilty of asking this girl to share her story about her father ).
"He is strict and not easy to communicate with him. I always feel scared talking to him..(beruntunglah anak-anak aku...)
 "Don't worry. We have the same father..It's not easy to talk to my father neither. My father was a policeman. Is yours the same?
"No, rubber tapper." (I felt even guiltier...)
But one day, before I go to school to sit for my first paper SPM, I hugged my father.
Everyone was quiet. Kata takut dengan bapak...
"You hugged him or he hugged you?"
"I hugged him."
"I said thank you."

"What was your father's reaction?"

"He looked like he wanted to cry.."
She looked as if she wanted to cry. I wanted to cry too but the tears were under controlled. Terharu.

"I love my father"

"Did you call him?"

"No credit."

" I used to help my father in the palm oil plantatation before I came here."
" Now, I'm here. He had to work alone...on his own." another boy shared his story with the class.He must have missed his father a lot. He's from Jerantut, Pahang.

"My father was a great man. He can sew baju melayu, cook ketupat, do carpentry, build houses while working as a policeman. My father is also very pious and never miss his solat and prayers. He used to be a strict and disciplined man too because he wanted all his daugters not to stray away."

"So, whatever that your father do, don't complain too much. Always be grateful. He's trying his best to mould you into a better and greater person."

"Boys, if you don't have a good father, then, create one" I ended the class with a big smile.

And I left the class with lots of childhood  memories with my own father.

Pagi Jumaat yang mulia..