I'm in my sister's room right now...It's the room I used to stay during my younger days when my sister was not at home. I wanted to sleep but my eyes couldn't close although the whole body is aching with agony. So many things, so many incidents happened at a period of time and today, I had to make the unpopular move to drive alone to Ipoh to see my father, hoping that it could ease some pain away.

As soon as I looked at my father's eyes, just as he poked his head at the door, my heart began to sink. He's so fragile but trying very hard to be looked alright. Limping through the living room, he asked me if I brought my children along. I just told him, no. It's too complicated to explain.

"Berani kamu bawak keta sorang-sorang"

I just smiled. Well, I have no choice...Semua orangpun takut. Aku jugak yang 'berani'.

We talked a lot at the  table while we had our dinner although Abah told me that he had eaten before he went to the surau . I knew he didn't eat any real food actually because he finished the whole plate when he was with me just now. kesian Abah...kalau aku tak balik hari ni..entah apalah dia makan.

Then, my memories drifted back to the years when I was still in the kindergarten. How Abah used to wait for me everyday after school to send me back home around 12am.  The first day of every primary level is also another fond memory that i had with my father. He would make sure that I boarded into the right 'vehicle' (police truck) before I went to school in Ipoh. Everything about school, my father would take the greatest care. The pocket money, the school fees, etc...etc...were not our major concern because Abah took care of everything. My sisters and I only had to make sure that we got good grades and did not stray away like many of our friends in Ulu Kinta did.

Solat, is another important thing that Abah was very particular with...He would wake me and my sisters up before Subh so that we will not miss the solat. Up until now he is still very regular and punctual about his solat including the 'solat sunat'....day and night. I hope I could one day be like him, insyallah.

"Esok kita pergi ke kubur Mak. Abah nak bubuh bunga..." Abah said.

"Ok." And, I began to think about  my late mother. Sedih. Sunyi. Rindu dengan kata-kata nasihat Mak...She's diferent from my MIL who is a good listener. My mom is a good adviser. Mungkin sebab Mak sakit dah lama sakit...dah banyak sabar...banyak pengajaran yang Mak dapat.

Well, I only have my father now and I won't let him down in whatever way...He raised me the way I am now and I thank Allah for that. I've made my decision to entertain Abah tomorrow because he deserves it.

"Abah, jom kita ronda Ipoh esok." 

:)

                                                   My youngest sister and Abah.