Thursday, December 31, 2009

Goodbye 2009

At this moment I can hear the sounds of the firecrackers from outside the house...A joyous night for many people, 1.1.2010 ....... I wish I could take my children somewhere near Jitra to witness this special event...but I 've got too many 'bothering' things in my head now.

Remembering 2009 which had left us....there were so many memories to cherish , and some 'things' wanting desperately to be forgotten.

I remember one night.... I had this very intense argument with a 'mad man' due to some misunderstandings at a parking lot. I was willing to say sorry (although I knew I was not wrong) but he kept on shouting and swearing , accusing me and challenging my sanity. He even insulted my dignity and 'aurah' in front of many people...I was waiting if he would ever going to punch me on my face because I also uttered some words I knew that would make him angry . Fortunately, he didn't.

He left the scene shortly after that. Although I tried to compose myself tback to the normal situation, I was actually really shaken by the incident. I knew my children was also scared but I told them to calm down. Later, i drove me and my children home quietly. As soon as I got into my room, I burst into tears. I felt so brutally insulted by what had happened. I was asking myself then...
"Is this the price of being independent?"

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


One fine day in Amsterdam...
The beautiful boat house...

The view from the hotel's window.

The historic area near Van Gogh Museum

The natural public transportation


Entertained by the street musicians

Dear Tearose,

I know I should have written this travelogue long time ago but time is just not permissable. Therefore, rather than being never, it is still better to be late to share the beautiful moments that I had in the lands where I thought I would never be able to be there. I thanked my husband for being so kind to let me accompany him in that journey of a life...
So, we arrived at the Schipol Airport, Amsterdam, first. It was very early in the morning...While waiting for the taxi counter to be opened, we had our 'quick' breakfast at the airport. We just had a sweet 'bun' and a bottle of fruit. It was autumn in Amsterdam but it felt almost like winter. How I wish the snow was there...

Reflection from the glass....
In one of the restaurants at the KLIA terminal before boarding...

We stayed at this hotel called Tulip inn which was situated 20 minutes from the airport. It's a small hotel but it provides evrything that u need as a traveller....The internet service was also free and very fast! The bed was especially cosy and warm. Once your under the blanket, you feel like you never want to get out of it.

Day 1 in Amsterdam....We bought this IAMTERDAM pass where we travel around the city at a discount price. So, we took a small bus to the city that morning. We went to this open market called Albert Cuyp Market which sells fresh fruits, produce, clothes, shoes, used items, etc..etc...but the best thing that I found here was the potato fries. They were large, crispy, fresh and very tasty! Then, we went to another open market which was situated near one of the canals. By the the time we left the market, it was almost dark..I guess it may be due to its wintry weather.

Day2...this time we decided to visit one of the MANY museums in Amsterdam. Our first entrance was at Van Gogh Museum. It was a very fascinating discovery of the artist . There were authentic letters, paintings and other printed materials displayed inside the museum. Such a talented man. But the way he ended his life is really tragic. We spent nearly 2 hours in the museum before we moved on to the Canal Excursion by one of the charted boats. Exploring the city through the canals was really a life time experience for me. I kept saying to myself how lucky I was to be able to go to this trip. How I wish my children could be here too to experience the same thing.

I left amsterdam that evening with a sunken heart. I wanted badly to see the windmills and the tulips but the time was limited. I waved Amsterdam goodbye reluctantly....However, as soon as I stepped my foot on the soil of Turkey, my heart leaped excitedly with joy again...I told myself...Here goes another adventure...

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I wanted to tell a lot of things here but words do not seem to flow nicely...I just couldn't tap the letters properly but I know I want to write, to share, to talk, to I used to....

It's midnight.

Monday, December 21, 2009


Sunday, December 20, 2009


I do not try to be better than anyone else...

I only try to dance to be better than myself...

Monday, November 23, 2009


One Flaw in Women

Women have strengths that amaze men

They bear hardships and carry burdens

They hold happiness, love and joy

They smile when they want to scream

They sing when they want to cry

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous

They fight for what they believe in

They stand up for injustice

They don't take no for an answer when they believe there is a better solution

They go without so their family can have

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend

They love unconditionally

They cry when their children excel

And cheers when their friends get awards

They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding

Their heart breaks when a friend dies

They grieve at the loss of a family member

Yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart

Women come in all sizes, shapes and colours

They will fly, drive, walk, run or e-mail you

To show how much they care about you

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keeps turning

They bring joy, hope and love

They have compassion and ideas

They give moral supports to family and friends

Women have vital things to say and everything to give

However....if there is one flaw in women

it is that they forget their true worth.


Sunday, November 1, 2009

It has never been easy....

In a week, I'll be finishing my first semester as a student. Well. it was last July when I decided to venture into this world that I have longed to be in. It was new, different but adventurous and exciting sometimes. Going to classes was not difficult...I manage to make some new friends, men and women, old and young, quiet and talkative who helped to decorate my life to be more cheerful and interesting....and then, i began to feel the weightage of responsibilities that I was always holding. It's was heavier than before, of course...the school work, house chores, being a wife, mother, daughter, sister and a teacher...

I tried very hard not to disappoint anyone. I would do my best to perform any task being asked, even making a cup of coffee or milo when I was busy doing my assisgnments. I know I couldn't keep up with the house chores but cooking for the family as usual is seldomly missed...I still go to the market every weekend, fetch my kids from school everyday, wash their clothes, eat-out with them whenever I'm free...yes, I still do all those things...but of course, at times I just have to do it 'cincai' due to time constrain...I'm always far from being perfect, of course.

I was thinking the other children never fail to inform me whenever they're going for examinations...they wanted me to 'du'a' for them in my prayers...and yes, I did du'a for them especially during their UPSR, PMR and SPM. My children were very lucky because their father did the same thing...But what happened when I took exams, kuizzes and tests? Nobody at home wished me good luck except from a few friends...i was not expecting but I just thought that they would remember...they would understand....

There are so many assumptions that I made when I first decide to study again...Those were totally wrong assumptions...but should I reverse the motion or should I just STOP!

p/s: I met an old friend in Seremban the other day...she was married with 5 children and she was diagnosed with breast cancer....I asked her, how did it happen? She didn't have any definite answer....but I realised now that it's not because ur not married, or not having any child or not breastfeeding your just happened......SEMOGA DIA TABAH...

Friday, October 30, 2009


I don't know what to write actually...but yeah, I'm writing now...I'm not in a good mood nowadays. I get easily emotional and upset..I'm in the middle of LOTS of things and I'm trying my best to handle one thing at a time...but sometimes, I lose track...and it makes me really down and down and go...into the drain...

I feel quite sick this past few days...the throbbing headaches, punching in and out my head....the sore throat...the watery's so intense! (And it's quite disturbing nobody cares about it....hmm...nasibla..)

I can't concentrate on my work...I don't know what else to say...

I rest my case...

Saturday, October 24, 2009

It's not about money...

I was given 121 scripts this time...2 types of essays to write..... Marking the students' exam was never easy. Sometimes it can give you headaches...Luckily, I've got a very understanding 'Ketua Pemeriksa' who had never given me any hard time during the marking session...Some people thought that I went for this meeting because it's paid...Well, they are totally wrong...It was never about RM...It 's about work and how you want to be somebody knowledgable about your job, and how you wanted to teach your students later on .... I have 2 more nights here...Looking forward to going back home....and 'meeting' more work...

Friday, October 9, 2009

I Am Me, Once More (Original Song)

Another Malaysian Gem....Love the song...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Allah is testing me...

(Vampire in the making...?)

It's been a while since I last post something here... Many things that are happening around me nowadays are not very happy and bright. Even the days are usually gloomy and rainy. But I try my best to take them all positively...

  • Najihah is now having her PMR but due to the conjunctivitis that my husband and I are suffering, I couldn't go and see her before the exam...We didn't want her to be contacted with the same disease for the second time. And Amirah...she's going to sit for her MUET speaking tomorrow morning at 8am. I wish I could do more to her but I know her beloved Mr Jefris has done well to his students. Thanks a lot Jef!

  • Masyitah is sleeping while I'm writing this. She's having a fever...She really looks so tired and sick...And it's really sad not to be able to hug her at this time of situation because of the conditions of my eyes....
  • The house...argh! it's so....messy! Since I had my eyes sored, I lost all the energy to do any work in and around the house. And it's my critical reviews as well...I need to get them done by this Saturday. But I can't keep up with the memontum due to my blurry vision...OMG! Hopefully this sufferings will end soon....

***And I was thinking...God is giving me all these for FREE? No...He wants me to ponder......)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Pantun kasih

"""Buih kuini jatuh tercampak
Jatuh menimpa bunga selasih
Biar bertahun dilambung ombak
Tidakku lupa pada yang kasih"

Friday, September 25, 2009

WHERE GOT GHOST? No Handphone Trailer

Wanted to watch this movie...but no one 'dare' to be my company..

Another Friday...

5th day of Hari Raya and I started to feel sick and weak...My eyes are 'itchy' and I sneezed many times just now. But still, I went to the market today to buy some provisions for lunch and dinner. Then, I lay down on my bed as I felt tired and sleepy. Before that I got my children to put all the things that I bought from the market into the fridge. I didn't have the energy to cook today. So, I told my 4th child, Najihah to prepare the meal. She will fry the 'ikan talapia merah' and prepare the sambal and ulam. Masyitah has already cooked the rice. Amirah and Anisah are also not feeling well...and they are somewhere in the house at the moment....Asyraf has gone to the mosque on bicycle as his dad is outstationed again...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Raihan - Lailatul Qadar

May Allah give me the strength to live up the night.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Amazing Living Without Arms

check this out

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Cerita Hantu paling seram 2009

It made my day...

At this time, at this moment....

May Allah guide us all to the right path...

Monday, August 31, 2009

31st August 2009

First, Najihah bt Ayoib was borne on this day 15 years ago... She was in the hostel today. I didn't get the chance to see her but I managed to buy her a journal and passed it through her brother just now. I thought she could use it to write something that could help her to cope with her life in the hostel. Then, 28 years ago...on this day also I was at the Dataran Merdeka, marching with my bandmates, representing the Johor state in the National Parade,1981. I was in Form 4 then.
Sweet 16...

My band years in STF...

Najihah at the Strawberry Farm, Mornington Peninsula, Melbourne, Australia 1998

Najihah now....

Me and Najihah....


Friday, August 21, 2009


I dreamt of my Tok Parit and Uci this morning. They came to my house to visit me...

"Uci apa khabar?" I greeted her. She was wearing a very light coloured dress.

Abah was there too. He was not on wheel chair anymore. He was busy taking out the wheel chair from the car. He wanted to assist Tok Parit with the chair.

Tomorrow is Ramadhan but they have already paid their visit to me today. But Abah was in the dream too. I wonder why....

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


By MICHAEL HILL,Associated Press Writer AP - Friday, August 14

Alice Connors-Kellgren was surprised by her boyfriend's new Facebook profile picture a few weeks ago: He was kissing another girl on the cheek.
The picture was up only briefly. And she figures it was just a friend. But she plans to discuss it with him when they're back together this fall at Cornell University.
"We trust each other. Deep down, I know nothing is going on. But when you first see it, it's like `Oh my goodness! What's going on here?'" says the college student from Westchester County, N.Y.
All this friending, poking and picture-posting on Facebook can get you in trouble with your significant other. Couples are finding that old flames and flirty friends on the social networking site have a unique ability to stir jealousy and suspicion.
Jealous types now have to deal with brand-new kinds of provocations, such as a comment on their partner's wall from a possible romantic rival, or their loved getting tagged _ identified _ in a picture from an old relationship. Boyfriends and girlfriends can view all of this on their partners' walls.
"It seems like Facebook is creating jealousy even where there was not jealousy to begin with," said Amy Muise, a doctoral candidate at the University of Guelph's psychology department who led a recent study on how Facebook can spark jealousy in romantic relationships among college students.
She said Facebook doesn't necessarily make people more jealous than they would be normally. But all the information divulged on Facebook _ those answers to "What's on your mind?" and reactions to those posts _ can increase "triggers" for jealousy.
"Part of the issue with information on Facebook is that it lacks certain context, " Muise said, "so there could be things posted on your partner's wall that you really don't know what it means."
The study was based on anonymous online survey data from 308 undergraduate Facebook users, three quarters of them women. The study, published in CyberPsychology & Behavior, found Facebook users can get snagged in a "feedback loop": Their interest piqued by a cryptic wall comment, they become suspicious and start monitoring their partner's pages, thus finding even more suspicious information.
Dan Fitzsimmons, a 21-year-old University of Albany student, said he has had to explain Facebook photos to girlfriends in the past.
Samantha Siciliano, an incoming freshman at Quinnipiac University from North Adams, Mass., said she has become jealous over the back-and-forth on her old boyfriend's wall, especially from too-friendly comments like "You look cute."
"If your boyfriend is calling or texting another girl, you can't really see it. But on Facebook, you can see it and so can everyone else," Siciliano said. "So in a way, you do get jealous because he might be hanging his dirty laundry, and not only are you seeing it, but other people are, too."
Colin Booth of West Virginia University said he is not the jealous type, but finds it a strange, modern phenomenon to watch your girlfriend develop other relationships in real time on Facebook.
"It's been happening forever. You're with a girl, she meets a guy, they're friends at first," Booth said. "But it's the way you see it and what you see. And then you think: What's going on under the surface if this is what's going on in public?"
Laney Cohen, a 24-year-old who works in public relations in New York City, has a longtime boyfriend now in law school in Florida. She began noticing last year that her boyfriend was being tagged in photographs with a female friend who "kind of rubs me the wrong way." One picture in particular upset her: The pair were in a bar, and the woman was looking up at Cohen's boyfriend.
"I felt that it was a very couple-y picture to be in, and I freaked out and I called him and said, `This is disrespectful to me and our relationship. What if people start asking questions about why you're always hanging out with her?'" Cohen recalled.
This is not just a problem for young people, especially as more middle-aged people get on Facebook. Cohen said her father, after 29 years of marriage, was tagged in a 32-year-old photo by a former girlfriend. Cohen's mother was amused, not upset.
Muise said researchers are just beginning to learn all the ways social networking sites are changing the way couples relate. She cited the case of a young woman who found out her boyfriend broke up with her when she noticed he had changed his relationship status to "single."
For her part, Cohen said she and her boyfriend worked out their photo-tagging issue.
"He's either untagging photos or not showing up in the photos anymore," she said. "Either way is fine."


1. How long do we spend our time surfing the internet everyday?

2. Is internet important to us?

3. Can we see the danger or do we think that we cannot live without it?

Monday, August 17, 2009


"Our lives improves only when we take chances-and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest to ourselves"

-William Shakespeare-


Influenza A(H1N1): Take care or pay the price
2009/08/17 (NST online)
R. Sittamparam

Anyone with symptoms who ignores the Health Ministry’s advice and spreads H1N1 faces RM10,000 fine or two years’ jail.
KUALA LUMPUR: Those found to have wilfully spread influenza A (H1N1), which has so far claimed 62 lives including three yesterday, face a fine of up to RM10,000 or up to two years in jail.The government has decided to enforce Section 12(1) of theDisease Control Act in another effort to contain the rapidspread of the disease, Health Minister Datuk Seri Liow Tiong
Lai said yesterday.Court action will be taken against people who have influenza-like illness symptoms but defy the ministry’s call to seektreatment, isolate themselves or wear masks.Speaking after opening the Lifelong Health Carnival for the Serdang area, Liow said: “The Ministry of Health takes this very seriously. We want everybody to abide by our call to help stop the spread of H1N1.“We’ve to work together to stop the spread. I’m appealing to the public to adhere to our call for those who are ill, having flu, fever and cough to please wear masks and isolate themselves to stop the spread to the public.”He said people who have symptoms of influenza-like illness could also get seven days’ medical leave to quarantine themselves.Liow said two of the three deaths recorded yesterday were due to delayed treatment with the anti-viral drug Tamiflu, adding that the ministry would investigate the cause of the delay. The Health Ministry has also set up a special focus group tostudy the mutation of the virus and analyse the cause of death of every victim."This is to determine that the cause of death of every victim is confirmed as H1N1 and not any other virus."
Liow said the focus group was monitoring the H1N1 virus closely and so far, it had reported that most of the present deaths were caused by H1N1.
Asked about complaints by private hospitals facing problems stocking enough Tamiflu, Liow said he would be meeting with the suppliers of the drug soon to try and reduce its price and to ensure it was available to everybody.Liow said 200,000 seasonal flu vaccines had been given to frontline medical staff to safeguard them.Asked about the commercial sector taking advantage of H1N1 in their advertisements, Liow said his ministry would check on such advertisements to prevent them from misleading the public to make profits.

p/s: 2 of my children went home yesterday evening because 2 Form 3 students in their school were confirmed of having H1N1. That morning all the Form 3 students had their PMR Trial Exam in the hall despite the condition of the school. The 2 ill students were placed on stage while the rest were on the floor and they went through all the papers until afternoon......Later, the teachers told them that they were given the choice to stay in the hostel or ferry home. They are allowed to be like the 'daily school students until further notice is given.....

Sunday, August 16, 2009

2pm, Sekolah Sultan Ahmad Tajuddin, Jitra, Kedah

Masyitah and her friends

"Kenapa tak pakai topeng?"

"Lupa bawak tadi"
"Dah habis..."
"Saya ada topeng tapi topeng saya berbulu makcik..."

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Nyawa di Hujung Tanduk

To Anisah and Masyitah...and my other children who were born normal...

Friday, August 7, 2009


Internet and teenagers

Reuters, NEW YORK - Teenagers who are preoccupied with their Internet time may be more prone to aggressive behavior, researchers reported Monday.

In a study of more than 9,400 Taiwanese teenagers, the researchers found that those with signs of Internet "addiction" were more likely to say they had hit, shoved or threatened someone in the past year.

The link remained when the investigators accounted for several other factors -- including the teenagers' scores on measures of self-esteem and depression, as well as their exposure to TV violence.

The findings, published online by the Journal of Adolescent Health, do not however prove that Internet addiction breeds violent behavior in children.

It is possible that violence-prone teenagers are more likely to obsessively use the Internet, explained lead researcher Dr. Chih-Hung Ko, of Kaohsiung Medical University in Taiwan.

However, the findings add to evidence from other studies that media -- whether TV, movies or video games -- can influence children's behavior. The also suggest that parents should pay close attention to their teenagers' Internet use, and the potential effects on their real-life behavior, Ko told Reuters Health.

According to Ko's team, some signs of Internet addiction include preoccupation with online activities; "withdrawal" symptoms, like moodiness and irritability, after a few Internet-free days; and skipping other activities to devote more time to online ones.

In this study, teenagers who fit the addiction profile generally were more aggression-prone than their peers. But the type of Internet activity appeared to matter as well.

Online chatting, gambling and gaming, and spending time in online forums or adult pornography sites were all linked to aggressive behavior. In contrast, teens who devoted their time to online research and studying were less likely than their peers to be violence-prone.

According to Ko, certain online activities may encourage kids to "release their anger" or otherwise be aggressive in ways they normally would not in the real world. Whether this eventually pushes them to be more aggressive in real life is not yet clear, the researcher said.

Ko recommended that parents talk to their children about their Internet use and their general attitudes toward violence.


So, almost everyone at work is talking about H1N1. In KMK itself, one student had been confirmed carrying the virus and he was sent home. Other students have been reported to have the symptoms like fever, cough, flu, etc..etc...I went to a clinic in Jitra last night, to have my second daughter examined by Doc Nassier, a very friendly and popular doctor in Jitra. He is a skin specialist but people have been seeing him to seek advice and treatment for other illnesses. Although the doctor said that Amirah was only having mild sore throat and headache, there is no confirmation that these discomforts may not turn to be Influenza A. So, we were told to take multivitamins and drink alot of plain water. And, pray to God that there will be a stop to this destructable pandemic. Aameen...

My students...listening practice at the Banquet Hall.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Demi Masa

Demi masa...
Sesungguhnya manusia kerugian
Yang beriman dan beramal saleh

Demi masa...
Sesungguhnya manusia kerugian
Nasihat kepada kebenaran dan kesabaran

Gunakan kesempatan yang masih diberi
Moga kita takkan menyesal
Masa usia kita jangan disiakan
Kerna ia takkan kembali

Ingat lima perkara, sebelum lima perkara
Sihat sebelum sakit
Muda sebelum tua, kaya sebelum miskin
Lapang sebelum sempit
Hidup sebelum mati

Demi masa...
Sesungguhnya manusia kerugian
Yang beriman dan beramal saleh

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sweet victory

I sat at the stairs facing the Multazam and I stared at it for a very long time coz I didn't know what else to say. I had conveyed prayers, a lot prayers for me, my family, my siblings, in-laws, friends-close and far, my students...over and over again...I have sinned and I regretted it very much, I'd done a lot of wrongdoings and I seeked for forgiveness...I asked for strength coz I am such a weak person, I prayed that I'd be better person and would not give any burden and problem to my family and anyone I know.
I was kiss the Hajaratul Aswad...I didn't have anyone else to depend on nor anybody to seek help. I looked at the Multazam again and I said to myself, I've got to try. I could feel HIS presence with me all the time. And that night I've made my mind, only HE will deter me, if he wanted to...but HE did not. Around 2.45 am, despite all the pulls and pushes from the aggressive, impatience and demanding crowd, I managed to put my head into hole of the black stone. And I broke into tears after that...A really good one. I felt so relieved as if a big stone was removed from my body...Yes, ultimately, I realised that HE is always there when no one else could. I shouldn't be worried anymore. Ameen...

Friday, July 24, 2009


Ustaz Bashiruddin, my mutawwif during the umrah told us that we should all wish to die in Madinah because the Prophet (PUB) once said,
“Sesiapa yang mempunyai kemampuan dan keupayaan daripada kamu jangan meninggal dunia melainkan di Madinah. Sesungguhnya sesiapa yang mati di Madinah aku akan memberi syafaat dan menjadi saksi baginya..” (H.R. Ibnu Hibban dan Tabrani).
p/s It's now official in my wishlist.

Sunday, July 12, 2009


Siapa yang tak pernah lupa? Saya lupa, dia lupa, kita lupa...Lupa cium tangan ibu dan ayah sebelum pergi sekolah, lupa baca doa sebelum tidur, lupa siapkan minum petang, makan malam, lupa basuh pinggan, lupa cakap pelan-pelan.....atau sengaja cakap kuat? Lupa dengan sapa kita bercakap...dengan bos? kakak? teman? ibu? Lupa semuanya...janji, dendam kesumat dapat dilepaskan...perasaan dapat diluahkan...tak kira siapa yang akan terasa, siapa terkena bisanya...biarkan! Asal hati puas. Dan kita lupa lagi...lupa tentang hukum Tuhan, janji tuhan pada yang membuat hati terguris, menangis. Lalu kitapun ketawa...padan muka. Tapi kita LUPA...takwa sudah beransur tiada. Perlahan-lahan jiwa tersiksa, merana kerana alpa.

Semalam lupa, hari ini lupa. Esok? takkan nak lupa lagi...Lupa nak berdoa untuk anak isteri, suami, ibu bapa dan adik beradik, ipar duai...yang diingat cuma kawan. Kawan sekerja, kawan main golf, kawan sekelas, kawan sepermainan, semua kawan...macammana pernah lupa kalau kawan tak berhenti 'call', sms, menelipon dan jumpa di warung, kedai, supermarket...Lalu kitapun lupa, nak balik awal, nak pi masjid di malam Jumaat, mendengar tazkirah, ceramah ugama di radio, macam-macam lagi. Lupa nak jumpa doktor, polis nak bayar saman....lupa beramah dengan anak-anak sebelum masuk tidur atau mengusap rambut mereka sekurang-kurangnya atau bercerita di katil sbelum melelapkan mata...LUPA.

Dan keesokan hari lupa lagi. Lupa cuci tandas, sapu sampah,mengemas album, buku-buku di rak. serba-serbi lupa. Paling tidak elok, lupa berterima kasih pada suami yang menghabiskan gaji untuk keperluan keluarga, isteri yang bertungkus-lumus memastikan anak-anak dan suaminya cukup makan dan tidur, anak-anaknya sihat dan gembira di sekolah dan di rumah. Kita juga lupa yang kita punya anak-anak yang telah menceriakan rumah tangga dan membuat abah dan emaknya merasa bangga dengan pencapaian yang baik di sekolah di samping berbudi bahasa dan berhemah tinggi. Kadang-kita kita lupa punyai kawan sejati dan asyik terpedaya dengan kawan baru yang sakan bergembira. Kita lupa makna pengorbanan dan LEKA berseronok. Ingat! Tuhan bela golongan yag terpedaya. ...Hai, banyak sungguh yang kita lupa...Lupa membersihkan harta dengan bersedekah, lupa mengirimkan wang pada ibu bapa, lupa bayar bil, zakat....

Tak terhingga banyaknya yang kita LUPA, bukan PELUPA tapi tak kesah, tak ambil berat...selalu kata, TAK APA...Oleh itu, jadilah kita manusia yang papa...miskin segala budi, akhlak dan wibawa walau berpelajaran, berharta dan berkedudukan tinggi melangit..... So, bilakah kali terakhir kita senyum pada orang yang paling dekat dengan kita...? TAK INGAT???
p/s: I'm going for Umrah tomorrow...A new journey has begun.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


After so........................................many years working full time at the office and home, today I've got another very important role to play - a STUDENT. Don't know whether I could do the job well or not but I'm willing to give it a try, the best I could give.

So, we had this short registration., about one hour and it's done. However, the briefing which is not brief, started at 2.30 and ended at 5pm (pheww!!!). I was yawning many times (macammana ni? THis is just a briefing...).

Personally, I have never thought that I would become a student again, but then lately I began to think...I SHOULD do something for myself. I've been wanting to do masters since Masyitah was 3 but there were so many obstacles and discouragements that put this matter on hold for such a long..............................time. This time around I told myself, with or without the support, I'm going to do it. Insyallah, with the help from THE above and with some understanding from friends and family, I hope I'll manage to cope all the stress and hard work along the way.

***Just wondering...will I be missing any theatres or concert after this? (Sigh..)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

A Tribute to MJ

My dad rented this video when I was in Form 5. He was so excited about it that he asked my mother too watch it as well. Of course my mum couldn't be bothered about it at all. I was the one whose eyes were glued to the tv. And I thought the video was awesome.

I had my first touch of MJ when I was in Form 1. My classmates and I sang the song, "Ben" during our music class. Mrs Ling made us sang the song. Then I got to know his other songs. I especially like "Ebony and Ivory" where he sang the song with Paul Mc Cartney. MJ is history now...but he will not be forgotten. Adios!

Thursday, June 25, 2009


It was a real surprise to receive an sms from my storyteller, Fadhil around 2pm today. He told me he was accepted to Univ Sabah. I told him to go but he was screaming ( I was laughing out loud when I read the sms) in the sms, saying NO! He was offered to do E-Dagang (Apa benda tu?),a course that was never came across in his mind at all. He said he's going to follow his heart...He is going to apply for UITM at the end of this year to do his favourite Mass Com course....

He was asking for my prayers (of course I will...I always do that to all my students and Fadhil is definitely included in the list). He was worried about his future as the competition among students who are applying for the university entries is very high. What touched me the most is when he told me that he could always count on me at any time (Huhuhu...). And that he wanted to break into tears as he was saying that to me (never thought that Fadhil could be that emotional...). He also wanted me to listen to Miley Cyrus's CLIMB because that's how he was feeling at that moment..
Well, Fadhil...I'm listening to it now...and I understand how u are feeling at the moment. U will be ok...No worries.

p/s : U didnt come and see me before you left the college...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009



I watched this on DVD last night. I was swept by its sensitivity towards culture, love, death and dying. At times I just kept myself in total silence because the scenes were undeniably beautiful and touching. Yes, I'll share these moments with my students soon...

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

As I was wishing my husband, "Happy Father's Day", my mind flew off to Simpang Pulai. What was my father doing at that moment? He is old and fragile but the spirit and courage are still there. I was at the kitchen table one day when I saw my Abah who was on wheel chair pushing my ailing mum(who was on a different wheel chair) to the bathroom to take wudhu'. My, my, my...what a sight. And with his limited strength and capabilities he also helped my mum to prepare for solat, wheel to wheel....
Yes, in terms of SOLAT and other religious matters, Abah has no tolerance. He was the first to teach me how to read the Quran, solat 5 times a day, take baths before 6 and go to bed at nine. He also woke me up before subuh when I was young and asked me to read books after Subh before I went to school. He taught me to be responsible for my younger sisters and that I should never leave them behind whenever we walked together. As I became older, he told me to be a good role model to my siblings, in terms of education and domestic work . In short, I must always show an excellent example
to my younger sisters at school and in the house. FULLSTOP! It's quite tough but I have no regret!

To ABAH, TQ for being a father that many children don't have...TQ for being the one and only ABAH for the 5 daughters of yours

Thursday, June 18, 2009

These days...

I don't know whether I'm lucky or not but for the 3rd time in a row the ISO people 'missed' me. My files and documents are not well organized. My cubicle is messy (just like me..). my table, my computer, my work are not in proper order. My life...all upside down. But, God must have loved me too much to put all this ciaos into deeper misery. I was thinking and thinking...all my wrongdoings, bad habits and's regrettable. All these while I was blaming other people for the misfortunates and misdeeds, I forgot to reflect things that had happenned to myself. I was actually part of the problems and I didn't realize it until today.

Right now, I just don't know what to say except I pray to God to keep on guiding me till the end of my life.

Oldest mosque in Bandung

p/s Maybe there is a reason why God is sending me to Mecca for the second time.

Monday, June 15, 2009

One Day in Penang

Last weekend my family and I went to Penang (without Amirah, my second daughter). We went to visit some relatives (my husband's side)andmy sister-in-laws who were not in the pink of health. Looking and talking to them made me think about my own parents especially my mum who were trying very hard composing the remaining of her trailing days. The courage that she has is incomparable. I knew I could never be that strong.

A very simple but very appetizing lunch under the shades of palms trees in Juru.

Like I saw Pak Ndak(arwah) sitting at the small hut.

Happy moment for Masyitah at the Feringghi Beach

p/s I was hoping to get at least a 'glimpse of the orient' in Penang...

Sunday, June 7, 2009


Saturday, June 6, 2009

6th day

As I was leaving my mother...

6th June 2009

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Monday, June 1, 2009

1 Day

Sunday, May 31, 2009



Saturday, May 30, 2009


I was suppossed to watch this movie at the cinema just now....

But I watched this movie on DVD instead.
DELHI-6-It's authentic and original. We don't have this in our movies nowadays...

Thursday, May 28, 2009


Usually, I woke up at 6 am. Washed my face, went to the kitchen and immediately turned on the kettle. Then, prepared breakfast for the family. Sometimes I cook nasi goreng if there is any leftover rice in the pot. Otherwise it would be french toast or egg sandwich. For drinks it would be milo for the children and coffee, misai kuching tea or Radix coffee for my husband. For me...none, because there's always not enough time for me to have breakfast at home. I really need to rush.

When they are all left home for school and office around 7, then only I took my bath and dressed up. And it's always around 15-20 minutes more before I left the house for work. It's normal that sometimes after getting into the car, I have to enter back to the house because I left my watch, or phone or I simply forgot to turn off the water pressure switch. Then, later on I would be driving the car like the F1 driver. No choice. Had to be at the office by 8.

At work, besides going to classes, there would always be other clerical jobs to be done. Preparing worksheets and notes , checking students' work, organizing files, etc..etc...Other informal work are consulting and entertaining the students whenever they see me at my cubicle. My colleagues also liked to stop by and chat with me. Even if I was busy, I would always welcome them. I don't have the heart to reject.

I didn't leave the college at 4 most of the time. I would go back later than that. It's either I had some work to be done with before the next day or because I had to fetch Masyitah from school at 5.30. There are always some things to do. I would always be home at 6, sometimes later if I had to go the supermarket to buy groceries or pasar malam to be get some provisions. If I felt unwell, then, no matter what, I would just leave at 4.

There were also three days in a week that I had to go back and forth between Changlun and Jitra during work due to Anisah's safety. I took her to my work place after school, bought her lunch and let her use my computer until it's time for me to fetch Masyitah from school. Sometimes she did not use the computer. She just slept on the chair. She must be tired, I know.

At home, washing clothes is a must on many nights. In the meantime, I would cook dinner for the family but ocassionally I would just buy it at the food court in Jitra either if I was so exhausted or hubby was outstationed . I was quite lucky to find Ani, a lady who ironed the clothes for me. Sometimes, she would also help me to clean the house. Before she came to work for me, I had to iron all the clothes for the family and it's a never ending job.

Do I have time to pamper myself? Not at the moment. Too busy for that. I'd love to go to beauty spa and have my whole body massaged and pampered with aromatherapic oil. Or having a holiday with the family without thinking about anything else except fun. Hmm...bila la tu?

Bedtime is at 10pm if I was so exhausted and tired. Otherwise, it would be around 11 or 12... If I was awake enough, I would watch TV, if not...Nite2!!! Yes, this is my life for the past many years but I don't regret a bit as long my family is happy and contented. As long as everyone is provisioned and nourished. I wouldn't mind doing that for all. I know many of us are having the same busy schedule , and it would be even busier when you have other things and matters to take care of such as your friends, parents, in-laws and siblings.

I pray to God that evreything will work smoothly and well and that God will give me guidance, resilience, patience and perseverence in carrying out the tasks. Despite the heavy duty job that I'm handling (like most mothers in the world). I thank God for giving me the strength that I need, for blessing me with a family that helps me to be courageous, determined and most of all who gives me the love that some people in the world do not get.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Nublan Zaki Norhadi

"Ibu, my friend passed away"

"Say what?"

"Kawan Dilah...meninggal" and my daughter broke into tears.

Drowning victim recovered; Penn State student found below Abrams Falls

By Iva Butler of The Daily Times

Staff Originally published: May 26. 2009 3:01AM Last modified: May 25. 2009 10:33PM

A college student who was to fly home to Malaysia next week was found dead at the base of Abram's Falls at 1:30 p.m. Monday.Nublan Zaki Norhadi, who was 20 years old, was with a group of about 30 college students from Penn State. This was not school-sponsored, but a trip planned to the Smokies by the students themselves, said Bob Miller, Smokies public information officer.They arrived at the Abram's Falls Trailhead at 5:30 p.m. Sunday and got to the falls at 6:20 p.m.
'Miller said it is unclear whether Norhadi was wading on the series of steps and was swept away to the base of the falls or if the jumped in and was swimming and them swept away by the strong current. Thanks to recent rains, the water at the falls was higher than usual, which made the current even stronger."Two of his buddies attempted to rescue Norhadi, but were also being swept away and had to be pulled out by other buddies," Miller said.Swimming is not banned at the falls but there is a sign warning of the strong current and hazards at the falls, he added."It would have taken a strong swimmer to get out of the current and the other students said Norhadi was not a strong swimmer," Miller said.Abrams Falls is located 2.5 miles up the trail that starts off a stub road in Cades Cove that is located to the right just before the Cable Mill.The body was found at 1:30 p.m. Monday 30 feet down by the Blount Special Operations Response Team (BSORT) divers, Miller said. They arrived at 10:30 a.m. Monday at the falls. Three pack mules were used to carry in their equipment.

I may not know who Nublan is except that he is one of my daughter's friends who studied at the same university as her. Yes, he is still coming home a corpse.... Can't imagine how the mother is going to react when she received the motionless body of her son in a few days. My heart really goes out to her.

When was the last time she received his call? Was it a few minutes before he started the journey to the Fall? Or when was the last time she saw him? Was it last year? There are so many questions, sad ones lingering in my mind. I found his blog in the internet. Sadness began to creep in as I read the only piece of thought written there. I was reading a writing of a man who had just passed away a few hours ago.

I hope Nublan's family will be strong facing this fateful tragedy. May his soul remains among the pious. Ameen..........
Al Fatihah.

p/s:Up until this time, no news about Nublan is mentioned in the Malaysian media.