After years of surviving emotional turbulence, I thought that all the madness is finally over. Little that I know Allah is still testing me..my family, my Masters, my father...arghh...God please, give me more patience...
I still see things that I don't like to see and hear things that I don't like to hear, constantly...It's really painful sometimes but I know I have no choice but to live with it. For the sake of others I need to sacrifice more than what I can take.
There are times when I really miss my "older times" (prefer that to "younger days"), when life was so simple but fulfilling...when love was all around, active and responsive...when I felt being so important and respected...and the list goes on and on.... Of course, life was not always pleasant at that time, but at least, it's not down and miserable. But I know God gives me all these coz He wants to make me 'stronger' and a better person. So, I should be thankful (bersyukur) that I'm still alive to breathe the air and make contributions to the earth.
I hope that I will keep on having the courage to put up a brave face in the eyes of the others and say, I'm fine and ok. However, spoken words are no longer an option coz I am afraid they might give some kind of reactions that will hurt me more. I think silence would be a better choice as I know that I'm always being heard in the quietness of the atmosphere.
At work, my students have always been my bundle of joy...
1 comment:
yong,seronok tengok your students. ingat pulak masa kita zaman tu:) memang meriah. btw i was in sintok early of the week..ada audit. meant to call u...bertangguh sampai sedar-sedar dah nak balik..sorry. hmm..tak sempat nak chotchett. would like very much to sembang with you. take care yong and take it easy. diah
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