Dear son, 

At the 'young and restless' age of yours, as a mother I can sense the 'excitement you get when meeting pretty girls about your age. I married you father young because that was the only option I had. I didn't want to make more sins or any mistake that would ruin my life or hurt my parents' feeling. You, my son have us, your parents that u can always consult to regardless of any matters. But, if you think that you have found somebody that u really think could 'garment' you with love, honesty, loyalty and sincerity, please prepare yourself to take the heaviest but rewarding responsibility that  you can ever imagine..Below is an article that I found at one of  my favourite websites..Do read before you decide anything. It's very interesting...

SEORANG SUAMI BERNAMA MUHAMMAD  SAW.

Jika ingin membina dunia yang lebih aman, kembalilah ke rumah masing-masing dan sayangi keluarga kita. Insya-Allah, apabila keluarga telah aman, masyarakat akan aman. Apabila masyarakat aman, negeri dan seterusnya negara akan aman. Dan apabila negara-negara telah aman, seluruh dunia akan aman. Oleh itu, apabila dunia semakin bergolak pada saat ini, percayalah itu semua berpunca daripada pergolakan rumah tangga. Ribut dalam cawan rumah tangga boleh mencetuskan badai di seantero dunia.

Perkara yang pertama dan utama dalam hidup seorang lelaki bernama suami adalah keluarga. Tidak ada gunanya dia berjaya di peringkat yang tinggi dan dalam bidang apa sahaja… sekiranya rumah tangganya sendiri berantakan. Justeru, Allah telah awal-awal lagi mengingatkan melalui firmanNya yang bermaksu, selamatkanlah dirimu dan keluargamu daripada api neraka!

Setiap lelaki pasti ditanya tentang kepimpinanya. Dan kepimpinan yang pertama akan dipersoalkan di Hari Akhirat nanti, bukan kepimpinan masyarakat, organisasi, jabatan,  kabinet atau negaranya… tetapi kepimpinan dalam keluarganya. Seorang wanita mudah masuk ke dalam syurga walaupun tanpa suami bersamanya, tetapi seorang lelaki sangat sukar masuk ke syurga tanpa isterinya. Seorang suami hanya layak ke syurga apabila semua yang berkaitan isteri dan anggota keluarganya sudah dipersoalkan.

Oleh kerana itu tertib dalam usaha membina kehidupan yang baik dimulakan dengan membaiki diri, kemudian membaiki rumah tangga dan seterusnya pancarkanlah sinar dalam rumah tangga itu ke tengah masyarakat. Bukankah sinar Islam itu pun bermula dari rumah Rasulullah saw? Nur wahyu dari gua Hira’ terpancar ke dalam diri Rasulullah, kemudian menyinari jiwa Khadijah dan kemudian dari situlah… bermulanya cahaya Islam ke dalam masyarakat Arab di Makkah, seterusnya merebak ke Madinah dan akhirnya tersebar ke seluruh semesta.

Justeru, sebelum kita mencari pengiktirafan sebagai pengurus, pengarah, CEO, menteri, perdana menteri, Presiden, raja dan sultan yang berjaya, carilah dahulu pengiktirafan dari dalam rumah tangga sendiri. Jadilah suami yang berjaya. Tegasnya, kita belum benar-benar diiktiraf sebagai seorang yang baik sekiranya belum menjadi suami yang baik. Sekiranya kita bertanya siapakah orang yang paling baik? Dengarlah jawapan dari Rasulullah saw ini: ”Orang yang paling baik diantara kamu adalah orang yang paling baik terhadap keluarganya. Dan aku adalah orang yang paling baik diantara kamu terhadap keluargaku.”

Mari sejenak kita layangkan fikiran dan terbangkan rasa menjelajah rumah tangga Rasulullah. Kita saksikan bagaimana manusia agung ini berjuang dalam gelanggang yang paling kecil tetapi sangat besar pengaruhnya kepada pembinaan ummah. Ya, bagaimana sikap, cakap dan diam baginda sebagai seorang suami. Semoga kita tidak hanya mengumpul riwayat dan hikayat, tetapi benar-benar menghayati makna sirah yang tersurat dan tersirat.

Adakalanya baginda pulang ke rumah lewat malam malah  menjelang dinihari. Kerja dakwah dan memimpn masyarakat acapkali menyebabkan baginda berenggang dengan isteri. Sejarah menceritakan bagaimana baginda tidak akan mengetuk pintu rumah untuk mengejutkan isteri yang sedang nyenyak tidur. Bahkan dibentangkannya sahaja kain ridaknya lalu dijadikan lapik untuk baginda tidur di muka pintu.

Apabila baginda bertanya kepada isterinya apakah pada hari itu ada makanan untuk dimasak dan apabila isterinya menjawab tidak ada… baginda akan tersenyum lalu memutuskan pada hari itu baginda akan berpuasa. Tenang dan indah sekali. Pada hari ada rezki untuk dimakan, baginda syukur. Apabila tidak ada, baginda sabar.

Sejarah menceritakan juga bagaimana baginda sendiri menjahit bajunya yang koyak dan menampal kasutnya yang bocor. Walaupun dia insan yang paling agung dan mulia, tetapi sentiasa sedia turun ke bawah membuat kerja-kerja yang dianggap remeh dan kecil oleh lelaki-lelaki lain yang kononnya lebih hebat dan unggul. Mereka terlupa bahawa pemimpin yang hebat ialah mereka yang rela membuat kerja-kerja kecil tetapi dengan jiwa yang besar. Dan Rasulullah telah membuktikan hakikat itu!

Bayangkan baginda yang sering menangis, bimbang dan takut akan nasib umatnya di akhirat tetapi masih punya masa untuk bergurau senda dengan isteri-isterinya. Bukan sekali baginda berlumba lari dengan iserinya hinggakan Aisyah berkata, “adakalanya baginda menang, adakalanya aku menang.” Sikap baginda yang romantik itu merupakan sesuatu yang masih sangat baru di kalangan umat Arab, kerana baru beberapa tahun sebelumnya wanita dianggap warga kelas dua sehingga bayi perempuan pun biasa ditanam hidup-hidup.

Sikap ‘gentleman’ dan romantik baginda bukan sahaja pada Aisyah yang jelita tetapi juga pada Saudah, seorang janda yang telah dinikahi oleh baginda ketika telah berusia. Oleh kerana Saudah telah tua dan kurang berdaya  dan badannya yang besar, baginda sering melipatkan lututnya untuk dipijak oleh Saudah apabila isterinya hendak menaiki unta. Sebagai perbandingan,  ramai daripada para suami kini yang membuka pintu kereta untuk isterinya?

Sekiranya terbayang juga kebimbangan pada raut wajahnya ketika masuk ke rumah isterinya, baginda akan menjawab jika isterinya bertanya kenapa? Ketika peristiwa perjanjian Hudaibiyah dimetrai dan para saabat begitu sedih sehinggakan tidak sedar akan perintah Rasulullah supaya bercukur dan menyembelih binatang, Ummu Salamah mendengar kebimbangan baginda itu lalu mencadangkan agar Rasulullah saw dahulu yang bercukur dan menyembelih korban…

Mata baginda bersinar atas cadangan dan pandangan isterinya lantas keluar semula lalu bercukur dan menyembelih kambing tanpa berkata sepatah pun kepada sahabat-sahabatnya. Baginda ‘bercakap’ dengan sikap seperti yang dicadangkan oleh Ummu Salamah. Dan melihat perbuatan baginda itu, para sahabat tersentak, tersedar lalu turut bercukur dan menyembelih binatang.

Bayangkan betapa besarnya jiwa baginda tetapi masih sudi mendengar cadangan daripada para isterinya. Jika benar dan betul, baginda akan menerimanya tanpa rasa malu dan ego. Tetapi jika batil dan salah, baginda tidak akan mengalah atau berundur walaupun selangkah.

Pernah baginda dihadiahkan seekor kambing untuk dimakan bersama keluarga. Baginda meminta Aisyah agar memberikan daging-daging kambing kepada orang yang lebih memerlukan. Aisyah dengan segera menunaikan perintah baginda… cuma ditinggalkan sedikit yakni bahagian kaki untuk Rasulullah saw. Ya, Rasulullullah gemar memakan kambing terutama bahagian kakinya dan itulah yang dititip oleh Aisyah untuk suaminya tersayang.

Apabila tiba waktu makan, Rasulullah bertanya apakah daging-daging kambing itu telah diberikan kepada fakir miskin? Lantas Aisyah menjawab sudah kecuali bahagian kaki yang dimasak untuk baginda. Baginda tersenyum gembira, namun masih sempat mengingatkan isterinya dengan kenyataan  yang penuh tarbiah dan hikmah, bahawa semua bahagian kambing itu menjadi hak mereka di akhirat kecuali bahagian kaki itu!

Di rumah baginda sentiasa tersenyum, ceria dan menolong kerja-kerja rumah. Hanya apabila azan bergema baginda akan berhenti dan serta merta menuju masjid seolah-olah tidak mengenal isterinya lagi. Jangan terkejut jika diberitakan adakalanya baginda akan mandi bersama dengan isterinya dan menceduk air dari bekas yang sama. Bukan berlakon-lakon, jauh sekali mengada-mengada, tetapi itulah realiti peribadi Rasulullah, insan paling kasih, paling sayang, yang segala perbuatannya lahir dari hati nurani yang paling murni. Sifat romantiknya lahir dari hati.

Banyak kali baginda mengingatkan, agar suami berlaku baik kepada wanita dan digalakkan bergurau senda dan bermain-main dengan isteri. Baginda bersabda:” bermain-main itu boleh dalam tiga hal. Ketika melatih kudamu, memanah dan bercanda dengan isterimu.” Biasa baginda mencium isterinya, ketika hendak berpergian jauh ataupun dekat, lama atau sekejap. Ciuman yang bukan hanya apabila nafsu bergolak, tetapi ciuman cinta yang lahir dari hati yang penuh kasih, kasihan dan sayang.

Baginda adalah suami yang ‘sporting’. Suatu ketika pada suatu Hari Raya, Sayidina Abu Bakar masuk ke rumah Aisyah di mana pada ketika itu ada dua orang perempuan sedang menari dan memukul gendang, sedangkan nabi menutup dirinya dengan baju (tidak melihat), maka Abu Bakar yang melihat keadaaan itu membentak kedua wanita tersebut, lalu Rasulullah menampakkan wajahnya seraya berkata, “hai Abu Bakar, biarkanlah mereka, sekarang adalah Hari Raya.”

Baginda minum daripada gelas yang sama dengan isterinya. Bahkan baginda mencecahkan bibirnya pada tempat di mana betul-betul bibir isterinya minum. Bahkan pada saat-saat akhir pemergiannya pun baginda meminta Siti Aisyah melembutkan kayu sugi dengan menggigitnya dan kemudian baginda minta disugikan dengan kayu sugi tersebut. Hinggakan kerana itu Aisyah menyatakan air liurnya dan air liur baginda bertemu sehingga saat akhir menuju kewafatannya.

Apabila baginda berada di bulan Ramadan, sentiasa baginda akan bangun pada waktu dinihari untuk solat dan munajat. Demi kasih sayang terhadap isteri, baginda akan mengejutkan mereka untuk sama-sama memburu kecintaan Allah. Tidak digerakkan isterinya  dengan gerakan yang kasar ataupun lengkingan suara yang tinggi, tetapi cuma disentuh dengan penuh kasih sayang dan dibelai dengan kata-kata bujukan.

Jika kita ingin menjadi suami… contohilah seorang suami yang bergelar Rasulullah – utusan Allah yang membuktikan kepada kita bahawa perkahwinan itu bukan hanya soal hidup bersama  tetapi ‘cinta bersama’ buat selama-lamanya.

Masyhurlah kemudiannya kata-kata “marriage is loving-together, not just living together” namun Nabi Muhammadlah suami yang membuktikan hakikat itu dalam kehidupan berumahtangganya lebih 1400 tahun yang lalu.Teladanilah seorang suami bernama Muhammad s.a.w

-Genta Rasa-

Pahrol Mohd Juoi

Ustaz Don Daniyal..

So, I watched this Ustaz giving his tazkirah for the first time tonight...Not bad at all! And, at times my eyes were really glued to the television listening to his very captivating talk about the childhood years of  Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). I felt like a child again, and my memories flew back to my primary school years in Marian Convent, Ipoh. I thought of Ustazah Ramlah, one of the very few Malay teachers in that school. She taught me to read and write in Jawi. She was also the first person who told the stories of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) when I was small.

The way Ustaz Don delivered the story was  almost the same as Ustazah Ramlah did. He was a real storyteller. Very natural and spontaneous. I hope so see more of him in the television  and internet, if Allah permits.

                                                        Ustaz Don as a TV presenter.

                                                         Ustaz Don as a lecturer in KUIS

Again, what did I learn from the Ustaz Don just now?

"Kenapa Allah jadikan Nabi Muhammad anak yatim masa kecik? Takde Mak, takde bapak?"
"Supaya beliau belajar erti kepayahan dan tidak bergantung pada sesiapapun kecuali Allah swt. Supaya menjadi contoh kepada umatnya pada suatu hari nanti..."

This was spoken by the Ustaz in very soft manner...Hmm..rasa nak mengalir airmata. Sangatlah tersentuh jiwa dan raga... So,in a nutshell, we should always seek help and guidance from Allah at all times including during times of trouble. Allah is the ultimate saviour.

Just a poem...

"In this lovely night, 

I pray to the sweet moon to protect you through the night, 

The wind to blow away ur worries, 

And, the twinkle stars to guide you the way, 

Sweet dreams and 

Good Night."

I'm in my sister's room right now...It's the room I used to stay during my younger days when my sister was not at home. I wanted to sleep but my eyes couldn't close although the whole body is aching with agony. So many things, so many incidents happened at a period of time and today, I had to make the unpopular move to drive alone to Ipoh to see my father, hoping that it could ease some pain away.

As soon as I looked at my father's eyes, just as he poked his head at the door, my heart began to sink. He's so fragile but trying very hard to be looked alright. Limping through the living room, he asked me if I brought my children along. I just told him, no. It's too complicated to explain.

"Berani kamu bawak keta sorang-sorang"

I just smiled. Well, I have no choice...Semua orangpun takut. Aku jugak yang 'berani'.

We talked a lot at the  table while we had our dinner although Abah told me that he had eaten before he went to the surau . I knew he didn't eat any real food actually because he finished the whole plate when he was with me just now. kesian Abah...kalau aku tak balik hari ni..entah apalah dia makan.

Then, my memories drifted back to the years when I was still in the kindergarten. How Abah used to wait for me everyday after school to send me back home around 12am.  The first day of every primary level is also another fond memory that i had with my father. He would make sure that I boarded into the right 'vehicle' (police truck) before I went to school in Ipoh. Everything about school, my father would take the greatest care. The pocket money, the school fees, etc...etc...were not our major concern because Abah took care of everything. My sisters and I only had to make sure that we got good grades and did not stray away like many of our friends in Ulu Kinta did.

Solat, is another important thing that Abah was very particular with...He would wake me and my sisters up before Subh so that we will not miss the solat. Up until now he is still very regular and punctual about his solat including the 'solat sunat'....day and night. I hope I could one day be like him, insyallah.

"Esok kita pergi ke kubur Mak. Abah nak bubuh bunga..." Abah said.

"Ok." And, I began to think about  my late mother. Sedih. Sunyi. Rindu dengan kata-kata nasihat Mak...She's diferent from my MIL who is a good listener. My mom is a good adviser. Mungkin sebab Mak sakit dah lama sakit...dah banyak sabar...banyak pengajaran yang Mak dapat.

Well, I only have my father now and I won't let him down in whatever way...He raised me the way I am now and I thank Allah for that. I've made my decision to entertain Abah tomorrow because he deserves it.

"Abah, jom kita ronda Ipoh esok." 

:)

                                                   My youngest sister and Abah.

Allah knows better...

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart” ...  

So, I guess it is true.... what had happened to me yesterday really felt me right deep into my heart. 

As I was walking back to my cubical, I came across my former student Imran... He was a very well behaved student, polite and a bit soft spoken. However, there were times when he made 'silly' jokes which were not really funny but we would still laugh because they ' sounded' funny... Imran used to say "Thank you 

Madam, I love you"... to me at the end of the class sessions. And I would always said Thank you back to him delightfully as tokens of appreciation.

"I love you because you are like my mom...My mom looks and talks like you" he said again with a mischievous smile on his face. 

"What is your mom, Imran?" I asked. 

"My mom is a teacher." I smiled again and he grinned back at me... The class began to roar with laughter...Tu dia, Imran buat lawak lagi...habih semua orang gelak. I said to myself...:) 

Yesterday, although Imran is no more my student, he never failed to amaze me...Before we briefly stopped and greeted at each other , he plucked one of the flowers which was planted along the corridor and handed it to me.

"Teacher, this one's for you."

I took it and said, " Well, TQ so much Imran..." 

He just smiled and walked away... It's just an ordinary and pale colour chrysanthemum . Not an  expensive gift. Just a small unscented flower that would be dead soon. But, it managed to brighten up my whole gloomy day. I never thought that I would be appreciated that way by someone I barely knew . ...

Yeah, as they said, It's always the thoughts that counted...Tq again Imran for remembering me as one of your lecturers..i will treasure this moment forever.

I hour past midnight

My Najihah has one more paper to go (SPM) but she looked as if as she had gone through all the subjects...I am so worried coz she seems so relax..Inilah jadinya kalau periksa lama sangat...sampai sebulan. kan elok ikut sistem dulu..seminggu je...dah boleh merdeka

. I remembered when taking my SPM way back in 1983 with my STF friends...The last paper was Sejarah...and, I was so anxious to 'get rid' of the exam that didn't study at all that night. I chatted with my monitor, Gina the whole night before the exam until we got sleepy and we went to bed early...like 10 o'clock or something...Hey, I got C3...not bad for a person who didn't study much like me (I think).

So, (pertaining to the topic), it's i hour ++ past midnight but I'm still wide awake..Teringat macam2. Things in the future and of course, memories...Argh, It's not easy to be forgotten...especially when my kids were small...dalam berbelas tahun yang sudah...they were so cute, so darling and quite easy to handle...(mentally)and my life is nothing else but THEM. It was not that complicated but a bit hard, I would admit...imagine handling 6 young children between the age of 3 months and 14 years old all at once.

My husband was really a great help. He was so close to the children. He used to bathe and put clothes on them. He would ride them in the car around the taman every morning before going to work...He would feed them with food during meal time..etc...etc...I don't know if my children still remember this...

Well, it was quite a memory. It's really something that I would like my children to remember forever...How close and bonded we all used to be. Now, that almost everyone have left home ('Adilah, Amirah and Asyraf are in the pursuing their studies in the university and 'Ayah' travels almost every week to KL and other places)I sometimes feel that I have lost 'them'...I hope it's just my 'delusional' feeling...maybe I just perasan sorang sorang...I don't know :( . But i hope things would be better very soon. Tak boleh cerita banyak2 di sini. Nanti hati jadi lagi sebak...

So, goodnight everyone...Sweet dreams and hope things would be better for everyone tomorrow... :)

p/s: He always said, "Mana ibu?" every time he came home from work...Dah terlalu lama tak kedengaran...Dunia semakin changgih...banyak benda lain yang ada di depan mata agaknya.

Mother's Day that is long forgotten..

It's been 23 years since I hold the title. My children called me IBU which also means mother. So, how do I feel being an IBU then, and being an IBU now?

My mum used to say..."Now, u know how it feels to be a mother...That's the way I felt when i first had u and later, ur sisters." She always said this every time I held my babies in my arms after the delivery. Delivering and raising them had never been an 'easy' experience but the joy of being a mother overcomes all the hardship in the upbringing.

So, this year only 3 out of my 6 children wished me... one in the morning, another at night and the last one 2 days after...My significant other only wished me late in the evening...well, I assumed everyone's bz.

For the last 10 years or more I had been calling my mum and MIL on Mother's Day to wish them...to cheer them up...I could sense the excitement when they wished me back. Now, mum has gone and I'm only left with my MIL to take care off. Once in a while I wished I could say that to my OPAH too who had left me in 1994. She was really so dear to me. I missed doing all the things for her and with her...

With Mak, it's a bit different. Mak was a bit garang, not like Opah. But as she got older she mellowed down. When she got sick, my sisters and I had to take turn to take care of her..I'm really grateful to Allah because my sisters were never 'berkira'.

"Mak sangat bersyukur anak-anak mak dan menantu-menantu mak baik-baik semuanya.."she told me with tears in her eyes.

Taking care of mak when she was sick was not an easy task. Sometimes it can be an emotional roller coaster ride. There were times when I, myself couldn't control the emotions especially when I couldn't help her to ease the pain.

"Kaki mak sakit Yong...berdenyut2 ni...cuba Yong pegang" I touched the legs but the warmth on the hardened skin was the only thing I could feel. It's really saddening for me not to be able to relate to the suffering that she faced.

Bathing her was another thing. Every time I bathed her she tried not to feel awkward as I always took off all her clothes and let her felt the chilled water of the shower...

"Tiap kali mak datang Kedah, mak rasa puas dapat mandi elok2...tp mak malu dgn Yong...."

I just ignored what she said but deep in my heart I really pitied her. It must be difficult for her to handle herself although Abah was always there for her. Abah was in a wheel chair himself.

I wish I could do more to mak when she was around. I wonder what treatment will I get when I'm old. I never spoke harsh words to my mum nor did I yell to her even though she was wrong at times. I always tried my best to understand her and my Abah as senior citizens. Will my children do the same thing?


I know I'm not perfect but I am a MOTHER.